New York Jizz Department

I do believe that when I'll Visit, You will like me so much in the flesh that You'll ask me to Stay Forever with You. I sense that something like that will manifest, and come time for my Visit, You shall pour yourself out to me in ways that never thought imaginable. Highly Aware yes am I of your Very Deep, Very Real Love for Me, Maria. That I know to be True. But I sense that when we'll finally sit down in the flesh, just the two of us there Together, You will open up with me in a manner so Real and Visceral and Genuine. And in turn, will my Loyalty and Real Love For You, only deepen and mature. Please, Maria. When I'll finally come over for a Visit early next year, my desire is that You shall so fully and deeply embrace The Entire Me. Please do, take my hand, and claim all that is my Body, and all that is my Mind, and all that manifests as my Spirit. I so wanna be Your Sun God and Your Fifth Note, once there for my Visit. Please. Please do, put your Lady Hands a...

Oooooooooooooo, Dats Uh Lovely, Lovely Piece, Maria. Earthy, Peaceful, and Serene. Mottled and Smudgey, if those are the right words. But still very much, Vividly Visceral. Sensual. And Tantric. Very. Melts In My Mouth, Smooth Tou Thuh Touch. Lady Canvas Tantric Sguish, Soh Supple Ihn Mai Palms. Yes Please. Yes Please. For a very long time now, Maria, I've experienced these Vivid Recurring LSD Dreams, involving The Two Of Us embraced similarly. My strong hands and calloused palms so supply squeeze You at your Hips, and so too do I run my textured fingertips along your naked Back, and up to your elegant, shapely Shoulders, textured grip upon which as I Manifest With You, This Embrace, slowly, softly, deeply, and fully, lovingly do I Thrust into You, your wonderful Lady Skin and your Lady Curves, so elegantly supple Simple Sguish Sklush Squeeze Delush, one vibration and one voice between us that of The Universe, as I run my strong fingers through you...

Wen Ihn Doubt, Kiss Deh Maria. Gonna Kiss Deh Maria, Lickey Lick Lick.

Getting home around 0300, the woodland birds roost in the trees and the mature flowering shrubs that blanket this relatively quiet neighborhood. Chirping, chirping far into the night. Delicate airy song that welcomes The Twilight soon to come. These Simple Pleasures that can only be appreciated by the virtues of Patience, and Openness In Listening. The Quiet Within, focused and calm are we now, as such now may we hear, feel, taste, and fully appreciate, the song of the land; this wind that blows through the old-growth maples and oaks down by the river, and the song of these birds past the banks, so subtly tucked away in their roosts until this Dawn soon to come. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

We have a nice Backyard here at work, overgrown with vegetation, and amongst this earthen oasis sits our large trailer-mounted smoker. On most nights after Closing I sit back here for an hour or two, earth, ground cover, and Zhuh, and I doze in a wrought iron lawn chair under the stars. This is my Quiet Time, my Alone Time, and my Meditation Time. Perfect space for me to hang a 2-point non-spreader hammock, and retire for the night under the stars. It's a good thing to periodically Unplug, Isolate, and Recalibrate, and let Nature quietly take its course. Meditation, a slow, lingering, gradual process. To let our bare feet rest in the dirt, as the clouds dot the skies and the stars dot the heavens far beyond.

I still have a difficult time to Relate to Most, but I've been consciously applying myself to more readily socially engage my work peers when at work. Subtle gestures and exchanges, laughter and smiles, silliness too. It's becoming ever more comfortable with each passing week. Yes I'm Resilient, I can build a shelter in the woods and be fine, but I'm also Fragile in certain ways too. Forcing myself every day at work to more fluidly engage my peers in The Social Sense. Because I need to be Honest with myself, remind myself every day that despite all of my Progress to date, I still have alot of outstanding Homework to do with my Socialization efforts. Resilience, is about getting out of bed in the morning, and choosing to Rise Above, to Get Up, Stand Up, and Transcend ones weaknesses and shortcomings, instead of Giving Up. It feels good to Struggle and then Prevail.

Maria. We must not fear The Darkness, and we must not let ourselves be blinded by The Light. Pain that burns, Truth that stings. Hurt and Suffering, lest we forget, that which makes us Compassionate, Empathetic, and Understanding. Bitter, Salty Tears, lest we forget, that which trickles down our dirtied, soiled cheeks. Hurt and Suffering as they trickle forth upon skin dirtied, soiled, calloused, poison percolates thus released. Tattered Threads, woven of a sturdy cloth but now faded, torn, ragged, and stained. Hurt and Suffering lest we forget, shackled monster rattles the cage. Shrouded in Darkness, tattered and threadbare hangs by a string, but too lest we forget, once before and once again are we clean and pure internally, Righteous Path, Unshaken In Our Faith. Darkest Hour, Tattered Flag, Threadbare. Alkonost, Voice Resounded, Underneath These Wings. And so I whisper her name. We must always remain Unshaken In Our Faith. Lest...

I want to share the rest of my life with You Maria. Us Together. I'm surrounded left and right by Noise, Distractions, Players, Schemers, Swindlers, False Pretenses, Pipe Dreams, and False Hopes. Fabricated Lies manifested by cells and conglomerates to Deceive, Lead On, and Mislead. I'm old enough now, that all that I desire is to build a quiet and private life with those who are important to me, and to share it all with those select few. I want to live it all and experience it all with You Maria, as My Forever Wife, My Best Friend, and My Life Partner. Cut out all of the Noise, and focus on what is truly important. You're extremely important to me, Maria. You will never have All Of The Answers for me, as it is impossible to Know And Master, All. But You are and will always be, My Everything, worthy of all of my Blessings. Please do join me after finishing School, Maria. I want to phase all of the Filler and Distractions out of my life, and build immense and com...

And I am so very fortunate and Blessed, to have cultivated the seeds for This Forever Bond With You, Maria. Spiritually Deep, Rich, and especially Enlightening. Not everyone is so lucky to have this very deep connection with You. I want to share my very deepest thoughts and dreams with You in the flesh, and watch your Emotions quietly rise to the surface; that I may in the flesh, feel this soft yet sweeping Metamorphosis on your part, this gentle yet vast swell of your Feelings, manifest before me, your most vulnerable Energy thus delivered forth and handled with Care and Empathy on my own accord....That right there, will be The Greatest Feeling Ever for me. I want to connect profoundly in the flesh with your most vulnerable Energy, pull it so gently and gradually to The Surface, and I want to handle You and embrace You thus so particularly Bare and Exposed, with the utmost Care, Empathy, and Mindfulness. I want to deeply connect like this with You every day in the flesh, regard...

I want to run my fingers through your hair, and wrap my arms around You warmly, Hug You every day and feel the warmth of your skin against mine. I want to gaze into your eyes, nuzzle noses and Kiss, softly, gently. Relaxing. And soothing. Your lips meet with mine, and your shapely Lady Hands wrapped around my back while mine are wrapped around You. Quiet, soothing Kiss, with You the sweetest and earthiest of these Emotions, so mellow, quieting, needn't say a word. Your lips and mine, together one life, one voice, and one pulse, coalesced as we Kiss. I want to sit down with You every day Maria, and offer all that is Me. My Hands to massage and caress your delicate features, My Listening to take in and savour your thoughts, lusts, desires, ambitions, and dreams to be shared. My Voice to soothe and calm your spirit, My Emotions, deepest of thoughts and feelings manifested just for You. I want to caress your every curve and contour, and through my Hands feel your Emotions seep...

Good night, Love. I so very much look forward to all that You will share with me in the flesh. Learning on all frequencies and wavelengths. Physical. Metaphysical. Spiritual. Emotional. I will Learn so so much from your breadth and depth of Emotions, embodied. I know that they're present internally and that You feel things very deeply, because, as one who also feels Emotions very deeply, your Presence makes my entire body resonate in ways that very very few are or ever will be ever to make, resonate. And this is why I've wanted so deeply to Marry You, Maria, and be Your Amazing Forever Husband. I feel so lucky to be able to Marry You and cultivate This Forever Marriage With You; This Exactly has been a recurring Dream of mine, for many, many years now. Now that I get to manifest it in real life, I feel like The Luckiest Man In The World. Every day do I wish to wrap my Warrior Arms and Strong Hands around your delicate Lady Features and bare skin, hands resting on ...

When the time shall come Maria, for us to be Together and Settle Down, please do be Patient with me. I am still in many ways Semi-Feral, and not yet fully normalized to sharing my deeply intimate spaces with a Someone Else. Please do, take your time with me once Together. At this point in my Healing, I am stronger than words will ever be able to convey, but periodically I am skittish and protective of my personal space. I know for sure that I'll warm up fully to You in the flesh, it will just take time. Your Patience will be Rewarded. No need to be Shy or Hesitate with me, because I Trust You fully and deeply. I know intimately, that You understand. Please be sure to engage me with lots of Soft Gentle Touch, as this very effectively disarms me. Works like Magic on me. I Trust You, Maria. Fully. Deeply. Eternally.

You have been my best friend in all these years.

I imagine that could be us.

I'm up for the day, Dearest. I look forward to Holding Your Hand and walking along The Waterfront with You. I wanna enjoy your company under the shade of these maple trees, and savour your thoughts to be shared with me on that day. Wanna look gently and deeply into your Gaze, Let You Know just how much Ay Love Yoooo. Birds singing and green maple leaves dance in the pleasant breeze. As I wrap my arm around You and whisper quietly into your ear, "Ay Love Yoooo, Maria. You're My Forever Wife, Ahn Mai Absolute Favourite.". I am so so deeply in love with You, Maria. You are the very fine Singular lady who I wish to Marry. Under the shade of these maple trees down by the river do I wish to exchange our vows in the flesh. I, Your Forever Husband; and You Maria, My Forever Wife. I look forward to Marrying You, Maria. What an immense pleasure it will be, to share my living-and-breathing life with You as My Forever Wife. You're Uh May Zing, Maria, My Sup...

It is no Casablanca. But like the main characters in this film, I imagine finding ourselves taken to the distant past, to an era we'd fit better in than the present ... say the 1920's or the Renaissance ... and fall in love.

I had uh Vivid LSD Dream last night, that we were sharing uh Long, Long, Delicate Kiss in the nude. You have me under your Spell, Maria, with your particular Gaze, so Soft and Quiet, and yet also so Strong in ways neither clear nor obvious to most others. But I See, Maria. I see, in ways that most others, will not or can not. And I'm always really, under the influence of your Spell. Your Gaze and Your Presence, makes my entire body, Resonate. I want to be Your Super Special Man, in the flesh. To Marry You, so that I may be fully immersed in all of your deep thoughts and Emotions manifested, voiced and unspoken alike. To be Your Very Closest and to share your hand in Forever Marriage, this exactly is what makes my entire body, Resonate. So please do, Maria, Lay With Me, Clothed, Nude, and Otherwise. I want to feel all of your Emotions, let them infiltrate and reside within me. Please, place your Eyes all over me, and your Gaze too. You are My Everything, I want to feel t...

That I may share the rest of my life with You, Dearest Maria. That You may become My Very Closest. I've never been in a Relationship or Romance, so I'm not sure how I'll Please You or Keep Your Interest once together in the flesh as Life Partners. But I want to be Your Everything. Maria. I want to be your Divine Inspiration, every day for the rest of my life. My hope is that once settled down together in the flesh, You will always feel right at home with me, and that I may always inspire My Dearest to Profound Growth. You are My Everything, Maria. My Everything.

Maria. The Key To Happiness, is to Love Yourself so deeply and so intensely, that nobody else will be able to steal from You that Inner Fire. That No Weapon Formed Against You, Shall Prosper. I can only Love You, as much as I Love, Myself. Can't give for You, that which has not already been Synthesized Within and, Internalized, on my part. I want to build a life with You in the flesh, not only because I Adore, Cherish, and Respect You like that, but because too, I've grown to Love Myself more than sufficiently to be content with my space of dwelling and my mode of life, my space of Rest, and my Whys, my Motivations that get me up and out every day in the early hours. These collections of Ideas and Mantras, and this State Of Mind that we call, Home. Please. I want to Marry You, and Build A Living-And-Breathing Life With You. Please.

Maria. And You in particular, are very Special for me. 99% of all others love me only conditionally, and are not interested to Get To Know Me. The vast vast majority who will love me if and only if I'll give them $$. And 99% of all others, are afraid to approach me or be seen close with/to me. They, the vast vast majority who keep me at a distance like Poison. But You are genuinely interested to become very very Close with me, for the simple enjoyment of Being With Me. I feel the same about You. That is an extreme rarity for me, a Someone who is not afraid to get to know me so deeply. Brings tears to my eyes sometimes, knowing that You care so deeply about Me. I am so Blessed and Lucky to have You in my life, Maria. You who so profoundly Cares. The Feeling Is Mutual, because, I Love You For You. Lights Out.

I've been thinking alot lately, Maria, how great it will be. To share my Everything with You. My soon-to-be, cozy Fixer House. My sacred space. And my very deepest thoughts, all in the flesh. To share it all with You, Maria. This Life, Together. Us, Together. The bumps, jolts, and countless, innumerably many little victories, Along The Way. Our most profound thoughts, our divine Company, and our most candid and vulnerable selves. And, our most intimate, fragile, and essential, essences. Our Most Intimate, Truest Selves. To share it all in the flesh with You, Maria. This is what I desire so very deeply on the inside. Please do, Marry Me. Maria. Please, I wish to accept your hand in Marriage, and serve You as, Your Very Own Weirdo, Your Very Closest, and, Your Very Own, Forever Sol. This is how much You mean to me, Maria. You mean This Much to me, and Even More.

Alkonost. Upon Raging Waves. Darkest Hour. Tattered Sails. Impassable Seas. Seventh Day. Voice That Soars Above All. End Of Suffering. https://www.instagram.com/wendyortizart/ https://www.instagram.com/p/yYIdVzOcZT/ https://www.wendyortizart.com/

there is always that space there just before they get to us that space that fine relaxer the breather while say flopping on a bed thinking of nothing or say pouring a glass of water from the spigot while entranced by nothing that gentle pure space it's worth centuries of existence say just to scratch your neck while looking out the window at a bare branch that space there before they get to us ensures that when they do they won't get it all ever. ++++++ It's Ours, by Charles Bukowski