New York Jizz Department

I thought all day today, about A Particular Special Lady. This Her, she is very,...Special. In my heart for Her, is there,...a reserved spot, with Her Name On It. Always Hers. How good it will feel, for me to encourage You,... and welcome You,... to let down your walls when with me. I will be here with You,... to catch You so mindfully, and with such care, once your walls shall have crumbled and w a s h e d a w a y. Let yourself become so very Exposed, Vulnerable, here with me, for I will remain by your side, present, attentive, mindful, Here With You. It will feel really, really good, for me to Hold You Closely, as your walls, thus crumbled, shall disperse in The Wind. I want to, be there, for You, with You, in this way. I want to take good care of You, in your most vulnerable moments and p h a s e s. And I trust You fully, to be, given the opportunity, similarly caring and loving, ...

I feel really good today. During the past month, I lost a bunch of people who I thought were my Friends, and today, a week after the dust settled, did I realize what I attempted to do for the past 3 years. For all of this time, did I try to win-over, those who never truly embraced me for me. And now, they are gone, and who remains? A smaller pool of individuals, each of whom enjoys my presence and my influence and my contributions. So yeah, still alotta good people in my life. Fewer distractions, clearer vision, focusing on bringing The Keepers, Closer. I need not please everyone. I need only, be a Good Me, continually manifest a Better Me, and then will I continue to attract, others who value, This Good Within.

Bend Over For Doctor, Wailing Siren, Curly Penis Uhn Deh Way.

Last week, I looked up, and into the mirror, for the first time in a long time. Who did I see? What did I see? The Other Side. The Non-Civilian Me. No emotion. No happiness. No sadness. No bitterness. No desire. No shame. No joy. Desensitized, to everything. Unable to feel a thing, hatred for nothing, bitterness towards nobody. joy for nothing. Black box. Dead zone. Place where nothing grows. Is this what I wish for myself? Of course not. I am incapable of Desire. Nothing left, to Desire. Night. Day. Arret. March. Sleep Today, Maybe For Just A While. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow. Gone Today. Maybe. Maybe, Here Tomorrow. For whom, or for what, shall I, Desire? No need to ponder such trivialities. Gone Today. Gone, Tomorrow. Look into the mirror, see my reflection. Empty shell, blazing sun, shotgun house, no windows here, straight shot through, shadow is cast,...

I experienced today, a Very Positive Shared Intimate Experience. Opened me up, warmed me up, had not been so Vulnerable, in several months. I started today, wanting nothing to do with Hope and Love and Life. But a Particular Special Someone, whom I have known for 6 or 7 years, physically took me by the hand today, and made me so incredibly, Vulnerable. She and I danced, for about 30 minutes, lots of close contact, direct eye contact, and close, very close embraces. And at the end, we embraced one final time, and then she gave to me, a Gentle, Kiss On The Cheek. And then, after a few seconds, we let go, met gazes one more time, her warm smile, my smile, and she spoke to me, a phrase for which I have not yet found the words. Spoke to me, in a delicate unspoken language, reinforced her Kiss, with the gentleset and most loving, of unspoken words. I cried by myself afterwards, because it felt so good. Armenian Splendor. She is a PhD, 52 years old, but can pass, for...

I search for the type of Chivalric Romantic Love, where she will not lose interest in me, after meeting me in-person. The type of Romantic Love, where she will not be afraid, to break the ice with me. and talk with me, connect with me, exchange glances, gazes, stares, go for a stroll with me, sit down, the two of us, in the shade of Yggdrasil, mighty ash tree. The type of Romantic Love, where she will talk with me, gradually, progressively, as I too, shall do the same, with her, growing, slowly, branches of Yggdrasil, meeting place of the gods, pillar of strength, the mighty ash tree. Towers above all else, delicate chirp of the birds, where the gods converge for their Things, where the dead can find peace, titan forest, living, breathing, home of the valkyries. Trickle of the waterfall, prisine air, birds soar overhead, branches of The Yggdrasil, old and twisted, pillar of strength, tower above me. Yggdrasil, mighty ...